Perhaps...

Samuel has an iPad!  Thank you Fran-a-Clause ;)  He is doing quite well with it.  However, the Speech Therapist came today, she was impressed with how he has learned it so quickly but he is not as skilled as she thinks he can be if he had, a pointer, a grid, a new $200 program or a new $200 - $10,000 communication devise.  I must admit, as much as I know she is trying to help, I couldn't help but think "YOU suggested the iPad! WHAT NOW?!?!"  I've become a bit bitter; to say the least.

I've been studying bitter women of the bible.  Today I stumbled upon Hannah (First Samuel 1).  The LORD had closed her womb!  She had grown bitter.  She finally poured out her bitter soul to God.  She left it at the altar.  And then God opened her womb and gave her Samuel; in turn, she gave Samuel back to God.  This spoke to me on several levels:

The moment we found out we were pregnant with Samuel we gave him to God.  Perhaps God has closed Samuel's mouth to deal with my bitterness.  Perhaps I have to pour out my bitter soul to God in order for Samuel's mouth to be opened and in turn give Samuel and his mouth back to God.  I want him to speak for himself but more than anything I want him to speak for God.  I want him to be God's mouth piece.  Hannah's womb could not have born Samuel out of bitterness; neither can my Samuel's mouth be opened out of my bitterness.  Perhaps....