"I don't want Gabriel to grow faster or supersede Samuel", I said to my dear friend, years ago when Gabriel was just a few months old. The experienced grandmother that she is replied with the sweetest, kindest, reassuring voice that she could, "Oh Shannon, but he will. Gabriel will be smarter and faster, but it will be OK".
I knew this day would come. Samuel is 5 years old (RTS), Gabriel is 3. I was trying to ignore it. Ignore the fact that Gabriel is potty trained and Samuel is not; Gabriel can count and say his ABCs, Samuel can not; Gabriel is maturing, Samuel is, but much more slowly.
Gabriel has had to learn how to "play" with Samuel. Which is usually not play at all. More than not, it is Gabriel laying down, letting Samuel attack him in a play wrestling match. Or, Gabriel bouncing from couch to couch, throwing a ball to make Samuel laugh. Or Gabriel, on his bike, riding circles around Samuel on his tricycle.
Gabriel went to preschool this year. He played with typical children. He has friends now. He has tasted the right way, the fun way, to play. And Samuel is not fun. No, Samuel screams, falls, doesn't understand, runs off, throws the ball somewhere other than at Gabriel, yells. Its compounded by the fact that it is summer time now; they don't have school to escape to, they only have one another to play with all day, every day for the next few months. But Gabriel doesn't want to play with Samuel anymore. He actually said that today, "I don't want to play with Samuel anymore". I felt my heart sink to the pit of my stomach. I wasn't ready.
Gabriel would rather lock himself in his room than to play with Samuel. I don't want to let him do that, but I understand it. I sometimes want to lock myself in my room too. Away from the yelling, the repeating myself over and over to no avail. But, as I explained to Gabriel, we are a family, we love one another, we have to pray to Jesus that Samuel learns to talk so that the yelling will stop. He's just frustrated, trying to tell us what he is doing or not doing, wanting or not wanting. And we are frustrated just as much or even more!
So here we are. The day has finally come. I pray that Gabriel grows out of it, begins to develop a tolerance, a love, an understanding, a bond. Yes, that's it. A bond. A brotherly bond that no one has seen. A deep love and understanding that allows them to communicate without using words. That will be my prayer now. Please, help me pray.
I knew this day would come. Samuel is 5 years old (RTS), Gabriel is 3. I was trying to ignore it. Ignore the fact that Gabriel is potty trained and Samuel is not; Gabriel can count and say his ABCs, Samuel can not; Gabriel is maturing, Samuel is, but much more slowly.
Gabriel has had to learn how to "play" with Samuel. Which is usually not play at all. More than not, it is Gabriel laying down, letting Samuel attack him in a play wrestling match. Or, Gabriel bouncing from couch to couch, throwing a ball to make Samuel laugh. Or Gabriel, on his bike, riding circles around Samuel on his tricycle.
Gabriel went to preschool this year. He played with typical children. He has friends now. He has tasted the right way, the fun way, to play. And Samuel is not fun. No, Samuel screams, falls, doesn't understand, runs off, throws the ball somewhere other than at Gabriel, yells. Its compounded by the fact that it is summer time now; they don't have school to escape to, they only have one another to play with all day, every day for the next few months. But Gabriel doesn't want to play with Samuel anymore. He actually said that today, "I don't want to play with Samuel anymore". I felt my heart sink to the pit of my stomach. I wasn't ready.
Gabriel would rather lock himself in his room than to play with Samuel. I don't want to let him do that, but I understand it. I sometimes want to lock myself in my room too. Away from the yelling, the repeating myself over and over to no avail. But, as I explained to Gabriel, we are a family, we love one another, we have to pray to Jesus that Samuel learns to talk so that the yelling will stop. He's just frustrated, trying to tell us what he is doing or not doing, wanting or not wanting. And we are frustrated just as much or even more!
So here we are. The day has finally come. I pray that Gabriel grows out of it, begins to develop a tolerance, a love, an understanding, a bond. Yes, that's it. A bond. A brotherly bond that no one has seen. A deep love and understanding that allows them to communicate without using words. That will be my prayer now. Please, help me pray.
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| Samuel distraught at the sound of tractors nearby Gabriel asking Daddy whats wrong with Samuel |
I will pray too Shan. God knows the way through this ... it is okay ... it is by design and meant for good for us all.
ReplyDeleteI believe you. Thank you. All things work together for the good....right? Thank you for your prayers. Love you.
DeleteI love you and your precious family. You are always in my prayers. Samuel helped save me from the darkness that threatened to cover me, 5 years ago... You did too... I don't know who I'd be if it wasn't for that wonderful day in September 2009. God will move. I believe...
ReplyDeleteShannon I know how frustrating those emotions are. Our grandson has issues with Aspergers and it has been hard for he and Matthew to play together. They have grown apart and it makes me so sad. They have different likes and dislikes and different ways of expressing themselves around each other. It isn't that Matthew doesn't love him, he just doesn't know how to deal with the differences between them. It is a little earlier than you would have wanted it to be, but it will continue to be a challenge for Gabriel wants his own friends who are different than Samuel and that will continue. Just keep him grounded in the fact that Samuel is his brother and there are challenges that are present that make play with Samuel different. He is too young yet to understand that and realized that he doesn't play the way Gabriel wants to play. Encourage him with the Love of our Daddy to understand that Samuel is growing slower than he is and needs his help in learning how to do the things he can't do yet. I know it will be a challenge, but I know that Gabriel will step up to be the brother Samuel needs. It will take a little more encouragement. Maybe just encourage it in short periods of time so that he has time to follow his own interests too. I love ya'll and will be praying for Gabriel to understand what Samuel needs from him. Please pray for us as well as our grandson grows and matures.
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